Comments on: Some days are still really hard…

By: Milan Jara

Milan Jara — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 01:42:38 +0000

It hurts me to know that you have lost your children but I am glad I do. I am sorry that it has happened.

By: Judi Moore

Judi Moore — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 23:17:24 +0000

Oh, Deb, hugs for you. hugs for you. I’m sitting here sobbing. For you. For me. Hugs.
I know what I want to hear so badly, so I’ll say it to you and see if it helps. You did good. You did right by him and the rips in your heart are the price you’re paying for what a good Mother he had.

By: Deborah Carney

Deborah Carney — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 05:23:24 +0000

Thank you for the hugs and thoughts, it all helps. And yes, I would love if a college or theater group would put on his plays. He did get to produce one of his shorts while he was at NYU, it was an honor for a first year student (even though he wasn’t a freshman, it was his first year in the program) to be choosen to participate in the 10 minute play program where they allowed an author to cast, produce and direct their 10 minute play.

Unfortunately it wasn’t video recorded, but the memory of seeing his play onstage is something I will never forget.

By: Ladidah

Ladidah — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 02:12:24 +0000

Debbie, I cannot believe all the hardship and heartache you have been through. To come out of this experience bitter, begrudging and as a negative person, I would fully understand. But you are none of that. You have always come across positive, objective and as a helpful person. I now see that you are also a very strong, loving, giving, selfless and a good mother.

You don’t have to stop grieving over someone you have lost and love. The pain does not go away, but it does gets a bit softer and gentler over the years as time goes on. And Kathy is right, as a mom you will never get over the death of your own child.

I hope someday you will be able to do something with your son’s work. Perhaps a local theater, school or acting group would want to do something with it. It would be a great way to remember you son.

By: Kim Rowley

Kim Rowley — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 19:12:23 +0000

Wow Debbie, I had no idea what you’ve been through. I can’t even imagine the sadness of losing your children. Sending warm hugs your way….

By: John Powell

John Powell — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 04:10:18 +0000

Debbie, That hit me like a tsunami. I have no words of wisdom. Just speechless.

By: Kathy

Kathy — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 02:25:34 +0000

“get over it, move on, the past is done” is an incredibly insensitive thing for anybody to say when anybody has lost somebody. That’s just not how it works. A Mom is never going to feel that way about her child. Sad to say I suppose maybe, but even if you live to be a 100 you’re not gonna get over it. That’s something that will always be with you

Only thing I can say is that the last thing in the world Dan would want would be for you to be sad on this day. You should feel blessed that you had such a close relationship with him, very proud of yourself cos you were a great Mom to him who was always there for him and the time you had with him was very, very special:):)

That’s not a sad thing…..you were responsible for making a very special young man who wouldn’t have been the man he was without all the Love and Support he had from his Mom:) Try to spend your day just thinking whatever pops in your head:) If you get sad, stop and think what he would say to you if he thought thinking of him was making you sad.

I can say all the nice words but you’re still probably gonna be sad. I hope not, but if you are……that’s OK:):) The world won’t end and then try to start the next day with a smile. You’ll be ok :) as much as you’re dreading it now… you will be ok:) Besides, he’s with you. You may not see him physically but he’s up there lookin down at ya:):) Big, big hug for you:):)